Over the past few years, the term “weaponized incompetence” has blown up in dating discourse online.
It’s used to describe someone—most often the guy, when it comes to heterosexual relationships—who acts like they are incapable of doing things like cooking, cleaning, scheduling, and just generally being thoughtful, in the hopes that their partner will simply take care of it.
A new AI agent, Orchid, was advertised this week as a way to fix relationship problems by simply doing all of those tasks for an inconsiderate partner instead.
In the promo, released on Wednesday, Sam, a boyfriend who is busy gaming and rifling through expired groceries, has forgotten his anniversary. “Ok ok, I can do this,” he types to Orchid, when the AI agent reminds him of the day’s significance. “You can’t. That’s why I’m here,” Orchid replies, as it goes about making a reservation and buying his girlfriend’s favorite flowers—lilies—another detail he didn’t remember. The girlfriend, who is also consulting Orchid throughout the day, is well aware that the AI assistant is doing all of this labor yet somehow allows Sam to take credit for the whole plan.
The rollout was blasted by users on X, for advertising to “adult babies uninterested in the world they live in” and “perpetuating … dead-end relationship[s] that both parties secretly hate.”
To state the obvious: Orchid will not fix long-simmering relationship resentments through task managing.
“Trying to outsource difficult but necessary communication will prevent couples from facing the messy but meaningful growing pains of their relationship,” says Lauren Maher, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “An AI app will never be able to compensate for a lack of attention or genuine caring, and no amount of feigned attention will convince the nervous system that someone is there for you when they are not.”
Maher adds that “triangulation”—the term for when individuals do not speak to each other directly but communicate through a third party—is regularly advised against in couples therapy. Now we have the “bizarre option to triangulate the nonhuman entity of AI into our romantic relationships,” she says, but Orchid’s use case for couples is only a temporary mask for problems in the relationship that are likely to sprout later. “While this is being marketed as a solve, indirect communication is notorious for straining relationships.” Orchid did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
The actual usefulness of AI assistants remains in doubt when it comes to matters of the heart.
According to one recent survey from astrology app Hint, which polled more than 13,000 adults across the US, Latin America, and Europe, AI assistants are actually making dating decisions harder, with 59 percent of the participants saying the advice left them more confused than before. Overburdened with too much machine-generated guidance, 47 percent said AI input influenced them to postpone decisions about their romantic relationships.
The company’s viral ad seems to be a bait-and-switch more than anything, as its larger ambitions are focused on workflow. Pitched as the ideal agent to “automate your life,” it offers to work across your connected apps without requiring you to switch between them.
But it’s unclear, beyond its texting feature, what makes it unique from other AI agents.
Rage-bait or not, the ad featuring the couple certainly generated a lot of chatter about the company, which, according to a blog post from June, wants to usher in a new vision for how people do, well, everything. But fixing a shitty relationship probably isn’t one of those things.
